There is beauty in purpose

I don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror. Puffy face with wrinkles that weren’t there this time last year. A sad, resignation behind my eyes that belies the smiles I paste on my face for public consumption.

My lower back, hips, and hamstrings hurt nearly every day now – when I lie too long on one side, when I get in and out of Minnie (my Mini Cooper), when I sit too long at work (which I do nearly every day). A not-too-gentle reminder that I need to move my body more while it also making exercise painful; the irony is not lost on me.

And my blood sugar. How painful it was – after overcoming years of fear and pride to ask for a prescription for insulin – to discover that it didn’t make a damned bit of difference. It’s only a matter of time before the complications start, or perhaps just a stroke or heart attack.

I am a dangerously successful Project Manager at work – I make impossible, or at least highly-improbable – things happen all the time. I bring together really smart people and let them tell me how to move forward to achieve the desired result. I do this all the time, but never when it comes to my own health.

Really smart people – my endocrinologist (diabetes doctor), my dietician, my diabetes educator, even the therapist I saw a couple of times last year – have told me what I need to do to be successful and pull the project of ME out of the fire, yet I have nothing positive to report. Why is that?

How would I handle a work project that was critically important to the long-term success of the company, to the happiness of our customers, and was languishing? I’d get the smart people together, gather intelligence, write up and publish a “get well” plan to include achievable deliverables with deadlines, then hold daily project stand-ups to check in with the team and assess progress. I would also send out daily – or more frequent if necessary – communications to critical partners giving updates on progress toward project success.

Hope
Hope by dead_band on Flickr

So why not do that with the most important project of all – me? After all, what is going to make a bigger impact on my world than a significant improvement in my my health and happiness???

I have 364 days left in 2013 and nothing better to do, so look for a first draft of the charter for Project Me right here tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “There is beauty in purpose”

    1. Hi Cutie Pie! I’m kind of looking forward to it, too. (I am SO fed up with feeling old and tired!!!)

      p.s. You’re also going to like the part where I set goals for using my anti-aging lotions and potions , too – it’s all part of feeling better, right? I’m not ready to look this damned old!

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