I don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror. Puffy face with wrinkles that weren’t there this time last year. A sad, resignation behind my eyes that belies the smiles I paste on my face for public consumption.
My lower back, hips, and hamstrings hurt nearly every day now – when I lie too long on one side, when I get in and out of Minnie (my Mini Cooper), when I sit too long at work (which I do nearly every day). A not-too-gentle reminder that I need to move my body more while it also making exercise painful; the irony is not lost on me.
And my blood sugar. How painful it was – after overcoming years of fear and pride to ask for a prescription for insulin – to discover that it didn’t make a damned bit of difference. It’s only a matter of time before the complications start, or perhaps just a stroke or heart attack.
I am a dangerously successful Project Manager at work – I make impossible, or at least highly-improbable – things happen all the time. I bring together really smart people and let them tell me how to move forward to achieve the desired result. I do this all the time, but never when it comes to my own health.
Really smart people – my endocrinologist (diabetes doctor), my dietician, my diabetes educator, even the therapist I saw a couple of times last year – have told me what I need to do to be successful and pull the project of ME out of the fire, yet I have nothing positive to report. Why is that?
How would I handle a work project that was critically important to the long-term success of the company, to the happiness of our customers, and was languishing? I’d get the smart people together, gather intelligence, write up and publish a “get well” plan to include achievable deliverables with deadlines, then hold daily project stand-ups to check in with the team and assess progress. I would also send out daily – or more frequent if necessary – communications to critical partners giving updates on progress toward project success.
So why not do that with the most important project of all – me? After all, what is going to make a bigger impact on my world than a significant improvement in my my health and happiness???
I have 364 days left in 2013 and nothing better to do, so look for a first draft of the charter for Project Me right here tomorrow.