Pity, party of one

The six days since my oral surgery have been challenging.

My blood sugar was way up for the first day and that was scary but then it went back to normal and that was good.

I’m not allowed to workout. My normal routine is anchored by my daily workouts, so this has been challenging. I’ve taken a few VERY slow walks (~1.5 mph or less) with sitting down stops built in so that my blood pressure never rises.

I can’t eat much of anything. Tried rice but that nearly got stuck in the dental flipper/fake teeth thing that I’m not taking out until tomorrow morning at the dental appointment. Laughing Cow is a major win, though, as is Panera’s French Onion soup (no croutons or cheese). Went through a brief infatuation with Jamba Juice’s Peach Mango smoothie but having three in 24 hours was bound to end in antipathy.

But here’s the thing: I’m fine.

I’m a girl who likes my routine – hence sitting around quite happily for years without dealing with my medical & dental issues all while being 100 pounds overweight and diabetic – and this whole experience has been absolutely devastating in terms of my normal way of life. No morning latte. No trips to the gym. No brushing & flossing my teeth twice daily. No getting up and going to work. (Dread to think how bad my work inbox is after being gone for 10 days!) So I’m all over the place emotionally. And then there’s the whole “half your teeth are gone, luv – now what?” thing.

But I really, really am fine.

I forced myself to smile – really, really smile – at myself in the mirror this morning and oh-my-gosh, the fake teeth thing is beautiful. I’ve never had straight, even teeth before and wow, it’s sort of amazing. (Don’t want to think about what’s underneath the flipper and I don’t have to see it until tomorrow, so we’ll deal with that then.)

My blood sugar is right where it needs to be. No working out needed, just eating moderate portions of foods with plenty of protein and/or fat.

I lost about two pounds this week. I say “about two pounds” because I haven’t weighed in two weeks so I can’t be absolutely sure. I am sure that I weigh less now than I have in a very long time. I’m not exactly sure when I last weighed the same as I did yesterday morning but I think it was 2002. I definitely weigh less than I have the entire time I’ve been blogging. (Not just blogging here but also here.) I weigh less than I ever have in the time I’ve known my husband. I weigh less than my husband. (You can’t imagine how wonderful that is to be able to say!) The left-most number on the scale is so close to a new number that I nearly can’t breathe when I think of it.

In terms of Project Me, I’m only 5.5 points away from being merely Overweight on the BMI scale. I started February off 8 points higher than I am now and I still have six months left in the year! I had to send back a size 20 Petite jacket that I bought for FitBloggin (before I realized how blazingly hot it was going to be in Portland last week) because it was way, way too big. I just bought clothes from Gap, including jeans. Gap doesn’t have plus sized clothes, people!

This week is just another user story (aka mini-project) I needed to complete for Project Me. I am diabetic, I haven’t taken care of myself for many years including my gums, and 15 teeth needed to be removed so that I can be as healthy as possible. The depression tried to use this as a way to scare me into living small again, but I’ve seen through it and I’m gently reminding myself that I’m stronger than this oral surgery detour, that I’ve got goals for 2013 that I’m well on my way to achieving, and that part of living – really living! – is dealing with pain and fear and uncertainty.

me smiling 300x199 Pity, party of one

me, just as I am

So good news: I’m definitely alive. And even better news for me? I’m ready to write here again, so get ready to hear more about whatever comes into my head. I’m done worrying about what I ought to write and now I just want to tap-tap-tap everything. Ready?

 

Comments

  1. Wow – you look amazing – I bet you feel even better (this momentary blip notwithstanding). Great job Chicky!!!

    • Hi Deanna,

      Thanks for the awesome comment. I really do feel great most of the time now. Even when the depression camps out for a week, I still know it’s going to pass and just keep on keeping on with the new habits.

      Thanks again for your visit!
      Denise

  2. Looking good! Keep at it! I promise, it’s worth it!
    Anne

  3. You look great! Glad it went so well!

  4. Darn! I wish I would have known you were in Portland. I would have loved to meet up with you. You’re doing such an amazing job with Project Me. Well done Denise!

    • Oh Kirsten, now I’m really sad that I didn’t write about heading off to Portland before I left – would have loved to get to meet you in person! Thank you so much for the support and for the gorgeous blog design that I love a little more every time I look at it.

      (It feels very odd to have to approve a comment from you on this blog, btw!)

  5. Gingernut says:

    You look AMAZEBALLS! Keep on keeping on; it’s the only way ;) xxx

    • Hi Gingernut,

      Thanks so much for the lovely comment and support. As Dory said in Finding Nemo, I’ll “just keep swimming,” because that really is the only way through! It gets a bit easier every single day, though, and I keep finding that things are not as bad as I imagine they will be in my head. (Knocking on wood that will continue to be so.)

      Denise

  6. You look wonderful – and I’m thinking it’s only going to get better from here on! Glad you are keeping your head and getting through this temporary yuckiness.

    • Hi Leslie,

      Thank you so much for your kind comment and support with my recovery. As with most situations, I’m finding that if I just wait and take things as they come rather than obsessing about all of the horrible ways it go could wrong, I’m not doing too badly. I find myself craving crisp, fresh fruit & veggies plus a grilled chicken burrito, but those will have to wait a while and that will be OK. I have to continually remind myself that it’s not even been two weeks yet so I need to cut myself some slack!

      Again, thanks for reaching out!

      Denise

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