Little, tiny, baby steps

I started nightly injections of insulin a few days ago and have already had to increase the dose by 50% because the lowest dose isn’t effective. I could cry about that fact and beat myself up about my unwillingness to make the lifestyle changes that would make my own insulin effective enough to control my blood sugar, but the fact is that neither of those actions will take me in a positive direction. Once I find the right dosage, insulin will absolutely help get my blood sugar levels back where they belong and that’s just a simple truth.

At the appointment with my doctor where he prescribed the insulin, we talked about increasing my dosage of a non-insulin oral medication I’ve been taking for months, or going back to the Weight Loss clinic so they can prescribe a combo anti-seizure/amphetamine drug that’s supposed to make you forget to eat (the amphetamine option has already not worked for me), or changing up one of the six other medications I take on a daily basis. And a little voice inside my head started to scream, “Stop playing around with your health, Denise. Do what needs to be done and get on with it!” (It might have been my grandma’s voice I was hearing, to be honest, since that’s definitely what she would have told me had she been alive and in the room with me.) and so I stopped the doctor mid-sentence and told him that I’d like to start taking insulin.

5552023473 5ca5d3b410 z Little, tiny, baby steps

Wintersteps into the unknown by Stefán Freyr | Skyzography, on Flickr

Insulin isn’t the cure-all super-duper fixer-upper for my problems but it will get my blood sugar under control almost immediately (once I get to the right dosage) and that’s the big thing right now. Stop the damage that high blood sugar is doing to my body first then focus on making the rest of the changes that I need to make – eat better, exercise daily, control my stress.

As we sat in the car in the line at the pharmacy drive-through, I thought about what I need to do in order to get my diabetes under control: I just have to put my big girl panties on, take my insulin, and start making small changes for the better.

Small steps, people. Small steps.

Comments

  1. The small stepd are very important…that’s where life changing acts are born from. Thinking of you :)

    • Hi Patty,

      Thanks for the kind, supportive comment. Yes, it’s always about the baby steps even when I just want to take a giant leap and be done with it. Patience. Moderation. Everything in its time. Must learn to breathe through the hard stuff (as my yoga teacher used to tell me) and stop stressing out about perfection.

      Thanks again,
      Denise

  2. I’ve been taking Lantus for six years, and had to be talked into it by my doctor who gave me a whole year to see that I needed it. It has been a godsend…..the thing to be careful of is having a “low”, or hypoglycemia. Once your BS levels are more normalized, you have to be careful, because some days the number will continue to go down until its too far down. Cold sweat, confusion and sometimes numbness in the mouth. I had really high numbers forever until I started the Lantus, so was not even prepared for a “low”. This is when you will want to check your BS levels several times a day because you will NOT want to deal with hypo.
    Best of luck to you, and keep hanging in there!!
    We can do this :-)

    • Hi Lark,

      Thank you so much for the advice about looking out for the lows – I had sort of wondered about that. I’m still looking for the right dosage to get the number on the meter back down where my doctor wants it and I’m worried that even the maximum might not do it. (I’m not there yet but I’d harbored a ridiculous hope that a small dosage would miraculously clear everything up, and that hasn’t happened.) I’ve got my prescription for strips filled now so I can test at will.

      Thanks again!
      Denise

  3. It’s much, much easier to eat well and exercise when you feel well. I hope you feel well soon.

    • Thank you for coming by and leaving a helpful comment. I hadn’t even thought about what a bear it would be to start a program to better eating and movement while still not feeling well – could have avoided a whole lot of self recriminations if I’d made that connection earlier.

      Cheers!
      Denise

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