Gaining weight and self knowledge

On June 14, before starting a 10 day trip to the southeast followed by a 5 day trip to Seattle, I stepped on my scale to find that I’d officially dropped belong 150 pounds and 26% body fat, representing a loss of 95 pounds and a 50% reduction in how much of my body is composed of fat since starting this journey in February 2013.

When I weighed myself last Thursday, seven weeks later, I saw 154.1 pounds and 28% body fat on the display; I have regained 7 hard-fought pounds and that weight is pure fat (as opposed to increased muscle mass). Given the way I’ve been eating lately, this was not a surprise to me, but it was – and still is – difficult to accept. One thing I’ve realized in the last 18 months, though, is that the lessons I learn when the path becomes bumpy are those that stick with me and form the structure of a healthier, happier life if I focus on finding the lesson in the experience rather than beating myself up for not being perfectly perfect.

So what will I do differently going forward?

  • Stop mindlessly eating sweets before bed – I convinced myself that I could have hundreds of calories of dessert every night because it was all low-glycemic and wouldn’t affect my blood sugar. While that’s absolutely true, extra calories add up over time and they aren’t doing my body fat percentage any favors. I’ll focus on fruit and nuts after dinner instead and see where that gets me.
  • Stop watching television with Mick after dinner – school starts back up in a couple of weeks anyway, so I need to get into the habit of reading and/or writing before bed anyway. Mindless eating while doing something mindless doesn’t align with my goal to live a happier, healthier life, so it needs to be replaced.
  • I’ve started taking one yoga class a week – anxiety is a regular part of my life that I’ve used mindlessness to “treat” for most of my life. Yoga encourages being present in my body and observing myself without judgment; I need more of that.

I’ve also been giving a lot of thought lately to what my goals are in terms of a happy, healthy weight and when to shift from weight loss to weight maintenance. At a Fitbloggin’ session this year, I was confronted by these questions as well as this troubling (for me) thought: what needs to happen inside my body for me to feel satisfied with where I am physically? I still haven’t wrapped my head around that one yet and it feels like a great topic for a session – or several – with Dr. Jennifer, my therapist; let me make an appointment to find out what wisdom she has for me.

Look, I wrote a whole post in MS Word without getting overwhelmed – perhaps there’s hope for this blog yet!

4 thoughts on “Gaining weight and self knowledge”

  1. I agree that it was a good post. I think this is an excellent opportunity to learn as you also examine the question of when are you going to swift from weight loss to weight maintenance.

    I will be soaking up what you learn.

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